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Case Study Analysis Peer Review Essay

Case Study Analysis Peer Review

     The author presents an introductory paragraph in which his thesis lacks clarity.  He states three main ideas of the paper and not one central theme.  The three main ideas stated are:

The purpose of this case study is to determine the problems that have occurred within ABC, Inc.
The case study will also determine solutions to the problems.
“A well-developed orientation program for new employees can mean the difference between immediate success and prolonged floundering.” (Neag, 2008).
I would strongly encourage the writer to consider combining two of the above sentences and removing the words “the purpose of this case study is to determine” and instead re-arranging and placing those sentences after the third sentence above.  The author needs to further develop those sentences to support that those methods were utilized in the case study to develop the thesis.  The author needs to identify the thesis as “A well developed…. and prolonged floundering” (Neag, 2008).  In addition, the author needs to remove unrelated ideas from the introductory paragraph.

     In the main body of the paper the author has difficulty with organizing sentences at times.  The author intermixes sentences with “story data” and important points without developing and it

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makes it appear to be scattered and makes the reader have to re-focus, for example:

This case identifies several issues involving Carl Robins, a new campus recruiter for ABC, Inc. Although it is only his first recruitment, it was successful one; or so he thought. The beginning of the case states that Robins hired 15 new trainees to begin working for Monica Carrolls who is an Operations Supervisor at ABC, Inc. The main issue regarding this case is that there is not a new hire protocol to follow. This case analysis will focus on the scheduling of the various events surrounding new hire orientation.

After Robins hires the new employees, Carrolls contacts him to ensure that the training schedule, orientation, manuals, policy booklets, physicals, drug testing, and other issues would be handled accordingly prior to the new employees start date. Robins had assured Carrolls that everything would be taken care of prior to the new hire’s start dates. However, Robins soon realized that there were several problems surrounding the scheduling of the orientation that was to occur on June 15th.  According to Neag (2008), a reason why so many companies fail is that there is no one available in human resources who can ensure all of the necessary actions are completed. There is a lack of resources.

Ideas are not completely developed.  A new hire protocol is not fully discussed and developed.  The quote by Neag (2008) is not discussed in terms of any lack of human resources anywhere directly in the paper.  There was one paragraph that was confusing with the way the sentences were worded:

The first step is scheduling a specific date when the orientation should be held. It was obvious that the location that the orientation was being held at is the same location that computer-training seminars were to be held: in the training room. This was an oversight of the coordinators for each event. It is stated that there is a scheduling log. Whoever is expecting to use the training room must ensure that the specific training or event is properly logged into the scheduling log. There can not be any deviations to this. Space is a vital part to the success of the orientation.

The first sentence in the paragraph is the only one in the paragraph about the date.  The rest of the paragraph must assume the reader knows something the reader does not know.  In addition, the second sentence contains irrelevant information.  I would strongly encourage the writer to avoid extraneous and unrelated ideas that detract from the main ideas and important points of the paper.

            The approach to the conclusion is weak and only appears to cover the writer’s personal opinion and suggestions.  The writer should consider summarizing the main ideas and points addressed in the case study as well as whether or not the author of the case study proved the thesis.  The conclusion as well as each paragraph should begin with an introductory sentence, three to four supporting sentences, and a closing sentence that summarizes that section or as in the case of the conclusion, ends the paper.

Feedback Regarding the Essays Effect on Me:

            I enjoyed reading your essay.  Although, I think you had some good points, I believe problems with organization and writing errors detract from the fluency of being able to read straight through and enjoy the paper as a whole.  I had to go back through, look at things again, and kind of differently to follow some aspects.

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